A Switch for The Heart and A Heart Sandwich

Uhm I didn't mean this  kind of switch. It's not heart the organ, but heart the engine of emotions and feelings. Does it have a switch? I'll get back to that later. First, there's a story I wanted to tell.

It's the story of Salman Al Farisi r.a. This is one of the many amazing stories about him. Shout out to my friend Ria for reminding me that this story exists. She has many amazing stories herself. Visit her blog here.

Salman Al Farisi r.a was one of the friends of Prophet Muhammad Shalallahu 'alaihi wasalam, and so was Abu Darda r.a. At that time, Salman Al Farisi was a newcomer in Madinah. He fell in love with a lady who was one of the Anshar people (people of Madinah that welcomed Prophet Muhammad SAW and his followers into their homes when they emigrated from Makkah). Motivated to complete half of the deen (religion), he was considering to marry the lady. Being unfamiliar with the land customs, he sought for help from his Anshar brother Abu Darda' r.a. to court the lady. Feeling overjoyed, Abu Darda' r.a.  gladly accepted his brother's request. Together they set out to the lady's house.

Having arrived in the lady's house, they began the proposal. Abu Darda' r.a. represented his brother Salman Al Farisi r.a. by introducing him to the father and explaining his intentions. The father was honoured, however he explained that it was the right of his daughter to decide so he signalled to the direction of a veiled curtain that separated the room.

From behind the veil, a soft voice which belonged to the mother answered. "Please forgive us for our frank words. Because you came, with the intention of receiving blessing from Allah, and so I have to give reply that my daughter rejects the proposal from Salman. However if you, Abu Darda', come with the same intention, then my daughter agrees to your proposal."

It was revealed that the lady was actually attracted to Abu Darda', the representative, rather than Salman, the represented himself. "Allahu Akbar!" was the reaction of Salman Al Farisi r.a. He was elated by the good news of his brother. He wholeheartedly gave all of the dowry he had gathered to Abu Darda' r.a. and promised to witness their wedding.

Beautiful was the heart of Salman Al Farisi r.a.

I'm coming back to that story again in a few moment.

Next is, a heart sandwich. Have you ever heard of the heart sandwich? Maybe no, because I made that up. Maybe yes, but maybe you thought it's this one bellow.

http://images.meredith.com/bhg/images/recipe/p_R082020.jpg

No, it wasn't sandwich in the shape of a heart. It is a sandwich of feelings and emotions. It's just like regular sandwiches but instead of bread, lettuce, tomatoes, and beef, it's feelings, overlapping with one another.

In my imagination, it's a state of the heart, when you are feeling a certain type of emotion, but you don't want to get carried away by that emotion so you tried to stop feeling that certain emotion. For example, you are sad, but you don't want to be sad for too long, so you decided to just stop being sad. You want to move on. Maybe you said to yourself "Okay I'm not gonna be sad about it anymore." Does your heart instantly stop being sad? Like instantly, like a switch cutting the electricity that runs the lamp. Most of the time in my case, I don't think so. It'll end up overlapping between still being sad and stop being sad, just like a sandwich. Sad - want to stop being sad - at the same time still sad - still want to stop being sad, and so on.

Let's try with a more complex emotion. With more complex emotion, it gets real bro...  For example, err I actually don't want to talk about it but... yeah whatever, it's love. Actually I don't care I'll say it out loud. Love! HOW ABOUT IN CAPITALS NOW! LOVE! BOLD! LOVE! BIGGER FONT! LOVE!( I mean romantic love, love a woman has for a non mahram and vice versa)

Ugh! I really didn't plan to write that word on that paragraph, because it just goes on and on and on. I was going to write another words like disappointment, or motivated, but I guess it was a bad idea to write this post in the middle of the night when it's quiet, and everything is blue and you become gloomy and romantic and sha la la la. sigh....

I don't want to talk about love further because I don't want to get baper. I just want to say that the sandwich for more complex emotion such as love is more complicated. You choose not to think about it because you're afraid that it will get between your love for Allah, or worse, hoping on other than Allah - but it comes again - you choose not to think about it - it comes again - and so on and so on until you settle down. A tug-o-war of emotion.

 

Or when we are trying to change for the better, and things keep affecting us. Our eagerness would come and go, it'd fluctuate, high and low. Trying to be istiqomah is a whole new level of a roller coaster ride.

So which side of that sandwich are we actually in? Have we been honest with ourselves?

 

If only there's a switch for the heart.

But then, I thought about the story of Salman Al Farisi r.a. How selfless he was, and how beautiful his heart was. When the spirit and eagerness to propose the lady of his dream, instantly switched into a cheerful and sincere celebration at the same time he found out that the lady was indeed in love with his Anshar brother Abu Darda' instead. Imagine having such heart. Did he switch his heart? Is there indeed, a switch for the heart?

I thank Allah for the length and insipidity of Jalan Jogja Solo that I often find the answers and inspirations for many things during my trip through it. I think there is indeed a switch for the heart. But to operate that switch, is not entirely within our capacity. On the other hand, how much we are willing to move the switch determines the outcome.

Indeed, Allah is Knower of the unseen [aspects] of the heavens and earth. Indeed, He is Knowing of that within the breasts.(QS Al Fatir:38)

I know this writing ended up not as graceful as what I intended it to be, and I might have unnecessarily complicate my own life by overthinking things. But it is what it is. I want to be at the right side of the sandwich, which also the side I hope was the honest.